Into Renewal Read online

Into Renewal

  Brian Bigelow

  Copyright © 2012 by Brian Bigelow

  ISBN: 9781476079622

  Soul sense published in “The Colors of Life”

  by The International Library of Poetry ©2003 Brian Bigelow

  Time Flight published in

  “The International Who's Who In Poetry”

  by The International Library of Poetry ©2004 Brian Bigelow

  Passages previously published in

  “The International Who's Who In Poetry”

  by The International Library of Poetry ©2005 Brian Bigelow

  Photo with The gateway ©2011

  Published as the front cover of “Get The Job”

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this work

  covered by the copyright herein may be reproduced

  by any means without written permission.

  This book is dedicated to two women,

  Patricia and Brandy.

  It wouldn't have been possible otherwise.

  Contents

  Introduction

  Cycle of life

  Animate

  Time passages

  Season of change

  Ancient ones

  Distant reaches

  Of wind and wolf

  Time of rest

  Enchanted moment

  Spirit guide

  Daybreak

  Visit

  Goddess dance

  Sweet miracle

  Dancing away

  Echo's

  Waiting for Spring

  Spirit guide

  Dancing away

  Star goddess

  Dawn light

  Afterglow

  Spirit dance

  Life and love

  Monsoon

  Rainforest

  Journey to freedom

  Open roads

  Life becoming art

  The gateway

  Becoming whole

  Soul sense

  Time flight

  Passages

  Falling leaves

  Towards the light

  Snowfall

  Light of life

 

  Introduction

  In March 2002, my first wife, Patricia passed away and it seemed for a while as if my life had came to an abrupt end. It was the beginning of a time where it felt like I became totally empty and that I had reached the end of my existence. For the next four months I tried to figure out how to start living once again and in the process discovered both photography and poetry. For some, like myself, I think that it takes great sorrow and loss to become transformed. I can't say now that I was living before all this happened.

  At first, the poetry was kind of a way to communicate with Trish and the photography was just a bit of a hobby and a way to take things off of my mind. Over the next couple of years both hobbies allowed me to delve into myself and begin to exorcise the inner demons that I had allowed to control my life. By June 2004 I had even begun to like myself for the very first time in my life.

  My present wife, Brandy is who really deserves kudos for the way that she has supported me in this endeavor. I am so glad that I have found her and that she is now in both my life and my heart. She really has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. Without her caring, encouragement and love this book would have never been possible.

  From a great tragedy

  An awakening begins

  From the tortured spirit

  An opening within

  a...

  Journey into renewal...

  Brian Bigelow

  Cycle of life

  Tree upon the mountainside

  Locked in its world of white

  Branches so naked and empty

  Waiting for the warmth to come

  Time rotating in coiled spiral

  Coming back to bring renewal

  Eternal dance of season's passage

  With light and life mingling there

  While the tree waits in silence

  For life to begin once more

  Under the vast expanse of sky

  12/5/04

  Animate

  Dancing with the goddess

  Under the pale moonlight

  My spirit becomes freer

  Able to reach for the heights

  Soul begins to animate

  Undulate with the moon

  While the singing begins

  Drawing me into her tune

  Expanding my spirit

  With her sense of being

  My sister spirit comes to me

  Opens up what I am seeing

  And the world that awaits

  Her special nature within

  Consorting with my spirit

  Peaceful voice calling in

  3/25/05

  Time Passages

  Time in a spiral around me

  Elements of you in what I see

  Walls coming down all around me

  Allowing me to finally see

  Missing part of my soul in need

  Towards new ends my heart always leads

  Dancing always in the distance

  A vision out of reach seems to prance

  Reaching out my spirit today

  To touch a projection on the way

  On enchanted twilight journey’s

  Where I am always seeking to be

  Essence of every single want

  Every element it seems to haunt

  Extends out beyond my essence

  Seeking to coalesce with that presence

  Passages of time come and go

  While I seek what I wish to know

  Letting my mind begin to grow

  With my emotions beginning to flow

  9/5/04

  Season of change

  My spirit so empty

  Since that fateful day came

  Ending of reality

  Tossed about in the waves

  Moments came and went by

  Past I cherished to save

  So slowly life returns

  While flowing through time

  As life wends through the turns

  10/29/04

  Ancient Ones

  In the darkened valley

  Whispering in the night

  Those ancient sentinels

  Shadows in pale light

  Looking bent and twisted

  Aged beyond their years

  As I sit and listen

  With the path so near

  Sitting there listening

  To the low communion

  Carried by the breezes

  And shadows of ebon

  After a moment more

  My thoughts begin to speak

  Commune with the darkness

  For the wisdom I seek

  7/22/06

  Distant reaches

  This distance seems so far

  When I want to touch you

  Wish upon falling stars

  Trying to make it through

  My thoughts are always there

  Walking with you each day

  A vision I’m aware

  Within my mind to stay

  Reaching out my spirit

  The distance becomes short

  Want to do every bit

  Helping you reach the port

  Passages of time extend

  Seems I sometimes can’t wait

  As the road seems to wend

  Towards eventual fate

  9/25/04

  Of wind and wolf

  Breeze descending on the scene

  Clouds and trees begin to move

  Caught up in the esoteric dance

  As the wolf comes out of hiding

  Full moon shining in its display

  Cal
ling out to innermost longings

  Bringing out the wolf's haunting howl

  Speaking to a deep secret yearning

  Visions appearing within the mind

  While shadows and dream conspire

  Interplay in the passages of time

  Carried beyond the glowing orb

  By the drifting of passing thoughts

  12/12/04

  Time of rest

  World of white waiting in patience

  While time passes towards renewal

  Icy tendrils grasping all within reach

  With the crystals that slowly fall

  Adding to the blanket that covers

  And the wonderland that gently calls

  12/23/04

  Enchanted moment

  Pale orb lights a winding path

  Shadows within ebon hues

  Under the twinkling lights

  Flickering as if on cue

  All is becoming quiet

  Time lost within the moment

  Lost both in time and place

  Thoughts start to become silent

  Bringing a time of healing

  Freeing of a souls essence

  To move upon the breezes

  Moved by the glowing presence

  1/20/05

  Spirit Guide

  Dreams and desire dance in the night

  Under passage of falling moonlight

  She reaches down deep into my soul

  Guiding me around the many shoals

  Toward the coming of a new dawn

  Listening for the seas endless song

  Beyond the reaches of my life’s past

  Into my soul her image is cast

  Guiding light into the coming age

  To be written upon a blank page

  10/17/04

  Goddess dance

  The goddess in the garden

  Opening contorted souls

  Reaching from the denizens

  An effort to become whole

  Joining with her essence there

  Spirit intertwines within

  Into the future to stare

  Beyond the seas constant din

  Emotion becoming essence

  With the dancing in the dark

  Part of her changing presence

  Passing time within the park

  10/10/04

  Sweet miracle

  Clouds passing by in the night

  Moon hidden with its cold light

  Tide was moving me further

  No footing I could acquire

  Until the guide came to me

  Opened my eyes there to see

  Took hold of the hand offered

  Into the light I was led

  Set free there from the water

  And places it would saunter

  Sweet miracle of new life

  Finally been made alive

  In the new life I’m given

  New realm in which I’m living

  12/7/04

  Dancing away

  Feeling the colors

  As they pass on through

  Take hold the burden

  Time becoming new

  Entering freedom

  When all time has come

  World of the dreams

  The spirit at play

  All colors in dance

  One wishing to stay

  Reaching far beyond

  Bursting into song

  11/13/06

  Star goddess

  Looking down to where I am

  I see the special essence

  Guide of lifetimes passage

  And I feel her presence

  From her place among the stars

  Where they flicker endlessly

  Myriad worlds shining

  Sending out their light nightly

  9/8/06

  Echo's

  Echo's of the forest come to mind

  Each time I hear the song again

  Wind blowing through the leaves

  Stream flowing beyond this place

  Moments that live in my soul

  Dreams carrying me far beyond

  Lost in the realm of this presence

  Seeing the beauty of the moment

  Capturing it within my dreams

  Passing into that state of grace

  Where I become whole again

  12/26/04

  Waiting for spring

  Blanket of faceted crystals

  Glistening in a festival

  Covering the world in white

  Clouds bring the palest light

  Shortened days bringing renewal

  To the child within it calls

  World of wonder in the cold

  Upon all children it takes hold

  1/5/05

  Spirit Guide

  Dreams and desire dance in the night

  Under passage of falling moonlight

  She reaches down deep into my soul

  Guiding me around the many shoals

  Toward the coming of a new dawn

  Listening for the seas endless song

  Beyond the reaches of my life’s past

  Into my soul her image is cast

  Guiding light into the coming age

  To be written upon a blank page

  10/17/04

  Daybreak

  Opening of my heart

  Life beginning to start

  Reaching beyond the sea

  A heart the yearned to be free

  The books open pages

  Life starting a new stage

  Daybreak now reaching me

  Letting me know I’m free

  New spirit lives inside

  Darkness moving aside

  12/2/04

  Dancing away

  Feeling the colors

  As they pass on through

  Take hold the burden

  Time becoming new

  Entering freedom

  When all time has come

  World of the dreams

  The spirit at play

  All colors in dance

  One wishing to stay

  Reaching far beyond

  Bursting into song

  11/13/06

  Dawn Light

  Sunrise breaking the surface

  Colors dance on the horizon

  So much to discover now

  Riding on the winds of fortune

  Moments to revel within

  Light flooding through every pore

  Lost in the awakening

  Brought with the daily encore

  1/19/05

  Afterglow

  Morning of passions embrace

  Where two hearts began to race

  As souls intertwined together

  Became lost within each other

  Until nothing else around exists

  Lost into the enveloping mists

  Wrapped up within the comfort

  Coming from the mornings effort

  Opened up to every to every sensation

  During such beautiful passion

  While we lay here together

  Two aware only of each other

  Lost within the sweet afterglow

  Emanating from passions flow

  Daybreak

  Opening of my heart

  Life beginning to start

  Reaching beyond the sea

  A heart the yearned to be free

  The books open pages

  Life starting a new stage

  Daybreak now reaching me

  Letting me know I’m free

  New spirit lives inside

  Darkness moving aside

  12/2/04

  Visit

  Special friend comes to visit

  Time lost in the passage

  Hours seem to disappear

  Within the moments closeness

  Lost in the spirit’s embrace

  State of grace descends

  Coming with a special touch

>   That only a good friend brings

  With the passage of time

  1/18/05

  Life and love

  Mountain trails beside cascading streams

  Visions that in my mind dances and teems

  Moving with a life becoming art

  Life, love and peace ruling within my heart

  As my spirit reaches for open skies

  To where all my future vistas now lie

  Monsoon

  Rain coming to fall around

  As I get lost in the sound

  Falling drops begin to pound

  New life in my soul is found

  Time in its moving spiral

  Brings me to survival

  My spirit opening wide

  Nothing within that can hide

  With the raindrops all about

  To my soul the moment shouts

  Whole world in wet presence

  Brought the nature of essence

  Moments that speaks within me

  Cause my spirit to be free

  Sets me on the course I want

  Far beyond the oldest haunts

  State of renewal begins

  New life beginning to win

  In this change of season

  Soon to bring the shining sun

  Open the spirit to see

  Where I really wish to be

  Soaring into the future

  Emotion flowing so pure

  Monsoon bringing the beauty

  Along with new realities

  4/4/05

  Rainforest

  Rain begins to fall on the forest

  Deluge becoming a torrent

  Colors blending into pastels

  As the forest begins to drink

  Gathering to begin anew

  To bring the new life within

  Time continuing in its spiral

  Light and life conjoining

  Where beauty can be beheld

  Entering to enfold the spirit

  New life beginning to grow

  Opening the door to the soul

  Moment caught in time there

  Memory to relive the essence

  When the sun renews its light

  Chases away the monsoon

  To bring the cycle full circle

  Growth for the inner being

  With the cycle of a whole life

  4/10/05

  Journey to freedom

  Restless spirit beginning its flight

  Ready to reach for the highest heights

  Whole world in revolution below

  With the restless spirit on the go

  Soaring high above the heavens high

  Reaching far into the endless sky

  Soul and spirit opening further

  Target in sight the spirit acquires

  Ambitions to bring the guidance in

  While on the journey far within